Tuesday, February 24

It's the end of the show, and we've all had a wonderful time. Haven't we Mr. Happy Puppet Head? Yeah, it was great.

But now it's time to turn off the tv, brush your teeth, and go to bed. But first I'd like to talk to you about something important. Just a little advice.

Don't ever get adicted to anything. It is the worst thing in the world. I once had a friend who was addicted to something, and his eyes melted. He couldn't even cry over the loss of his eyesight. I had another friend who did drugs, and she got the disease where she grew lots of arms and legs and they beat her up all the time. You don't want that, kids. Trust me.

So your best bet is to not ever do anything unless it is condoned by our public school system. They know best. For easy reference, look in your Health book. The stylishly dressed kids from the mid-eighties will never let you down.

So don't do any sort of drug unless it modifies your behavior in ways appropriate for a school environment, don't ingest anything unless it's manufactured by either Coca Cola or Pepi, and never go to parties, only study sessions (the for real kind) and promptly leave when you feel that you have adequately prepared yourself for your test or quiz. Don't smoke anything of any kind. Just to be safe, keep inhaling to a minimal.

And don't listen to your friends when they tell you that you aren't living life to it's fullest. Not doing drugs and getting good grades are the most important things there are.

Goodnight, kids. And watch out.

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