Tuesday, February 17

A CARTOON!
Arpit and Bloodbath the Unemployed Pirate Captain in
"Hate Appreciation Day"
**************************************************************
Arpit and Bloodbath are standing in front of their apartment. They hear the jingle of the ice cream truck in the distance.

"Oh, I'd like an ice cream," says Bloodbath.
"I hate you old man and you're stupid," Arpit smiles happily up at his friend.
"Arpit?"
"Suck my bile." This phrase makes young Arpit so happy he does a little dance. Bloodbath doesn't have a suitable comeback for "suck my bile," so thinks silently about it for a bit. That is, until the ice cream truck pulls up.

The ice cream truck is being dragged on its side down the street by a large group of children, all tied to the white truck with frayed rope. Standing atop the sideways vehicle is a small cute furry creature with a bright red nose and sparkling eyes. It whips the children's backs as it asks them politely to keep moving.

"Hello there!" calls Bloodbath, waving his sword in the air. "We'd like some ice cream."
"Oh, yes, of course," replies the cute furry creature. "Over there, children, please. That's right. You guys are doing a great job." Sparks fly everywhere as the truck is slowly dragged, screaching and grinding accross the parking lot.

"You are ugly and I can't stand looking at you or being around you!" yells Arpit as he waves cheerfully to the ice cream monster.
"Excuse me?" The little creature looks like it might cry.
"You can't do anything right and nobody likes you."
"Oh... do you guys still want ice cream?"
"Yes," Bloodbath pulls out some dollar bills. "I want a Delicious Flavor Pop."
"Ice cream is for stupids!" This phrase makes Arpit giggle and he can't help but do his happy dance. "Guys, it's Hate Appreciation Day! Remember? Yay! I hate Hate Appreciation Day!"

Bloodbath and the Ice Cream Monster have clearly decided to ignore Arpit completly and exchange money for Flavor Pop. The monster raises its whip to start the children back on their route when Arpit lights a moltov cocktail and throws it into the truck.
"Hate crime!" he yells. The truck blows up and the Ice Cream Monster is thrown high into the air.

Bloodbath eats his ice cream and enjoys it thoroughly. The children, who are now free, rummage through the burning rubble to salvage ice cream. Arpit runs around punching them in the face and screaming obcenities. The ice cream monster lands in a soft bed of pine needles some way off, much of his fur is singed but he isn't hurt. As he curls up and cries himself into unconsciousness, he thinks about how much he hates Hate Appreciation Day.

As we all should.

THE END.

No comments: