Tuesday, December 16

i'm on a date with a very pretty woman. i wish i had worn something comfortable, but i wanted to impress her with my outfit. i hoped she was a fan. but she doesn't seem impressed at all and my goggles are fogging up and i've been wearing the black rubber boots all day and they kind of hurt my feet.

but i know the cape was a good idea. everyone respects a man who wears a cape in public.

i wish she were wearing a cape. i respect women who wear capes in public.

i try to tell her about my show, but she isn't interested. she'd rather eat. she can eat anything. that i respect. car tires, tin cans, cardboard. she's like a goat with a bottomless stomach. i can't tell if i respect that more than a girl who wears a cape.

man, my dream girl is someone who can eat garbage while wearing a cape. hot damn.

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