Wednesday, December 1

A Performance Art Piece!
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"Murder in the Flower Garden"

The stage looks like a flower garden. There are flowers. Amid the flowers is a child volunteer from the audience who is playing the corpse. The little girl holds her hands to her throat and is hanging her tougue out of her mouth as if she has strangled herself.

Me and Mr. Happy Puppet Head stand to one side and ponder the scene.

"What do you think it is about your flower garden that made her want to kill herself immediately?" I ask my floating red puppet friend.

"It couldn't have been the daffodils... nor the sunflowers," he muses. "Maybe it was the lack of tulips. There are no tulips in my garden."

"Yes, or maybe it had nothing to do with the garden..." I pretend to twirl my mustache. I pretend because it is just painted on with a marker. "Did you check her gums? She may not have been flossing."

"I did check her gums," he slowly begins spinning in circles. "I did check her gums and they looked fine. I did check her gums and they looked fine and I'm spinning in circles. I did check her gums and they looked fine and I'm spinning in circles and I wish I had a kitty named Chester. I did check her gums and they looked fine and I'm spinning in circles and I wish I had a kitty named Chester and I'm glad you're my friend."

He is by now spinning very quickly around and around. The lights begin to flash and some sad, low cello music fades in. Mr. Happy Puppet Head stops spinning and the lights fade down. A single spotlight on the girl is the only light left.

I kneel by the little dead girl. "I feel like we only met, little dead girl," I cup my hands to the top of my heads in a symbolic gesture of sadness. "But I know you mean more to me than anything ever has ever." I collapse onto my back, fake dead.

Mr. Happy Puppet Head slowly bobbles up and places my hands over my neck so it looks like I strangled myself.

"I'm hungry," he proclaims loudly. "I'm going to go fix myself some grilled chesse sandwich." And he bobbles off the stage.

The lights go black. There is a brief moment of silence before the audience erupts in applause and hysterical screaming. The little girl and I both stand to bow, but we are knocked back to the floor by a wave of confetti. We have to be escorted out by the janitor, Gene, who pushes aside our crazed fans like it's nothing.

The End.




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