Thursday, December 2

You are sad. Sadder than you've been in a long time. Maybe the saddest ever. That big black pit has opened up inside your soul for no discernable reason again, and everything becomes empty and meaningless. Life becomes an endless list of obligations, and nothing is fun, nothing brings joy, nothing means anything to you anymore.

So run away from home. Just go. Don't leave a note. Wear all of the clothes you have at one time (there's nothing warmer) and walk until it's night. Then find a public bathroom stall you can sleep in.

Next morning get yourself on one of those far-away going busses. If you don't have any money, do whatever you can to get on it. Cry if you have to.

Things will be better where you go, wherever it is. You can get a job at a cash register somewhere and not have to think anymore. You can be a total jerk in your new life and not have to worry about anything. Jerks don't worry.

Don't call home. If you have to, write a long letter to your parents, but you have to black out every other word with a marker so that it makes no sense at all. And in your new life you can only eat minestrone soup straight out of the can. And you will start to really care about professional tennis and the color of other people's cars, but make sure you don't actually take up any hobbies or activities other than pushing buttons on a cash register. Practice staring at things. Keep your jaw slack.

Your new life will be so great.


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