Monday, November 15
We're on set shooting one of the Fuzzy Cute Cartoons.
Everything is going fine. The story is that a bunch of furry cutes are having a picnic and having a wonderful time.
"I'd like to vote on something," says one cute.
"What would you like to vote on?" asks another.
"I don't know..." says the one. "Maybe on what kind of pie we should eat."
"But we only have apple," says another cute, one who had yet to speak up.
"That's great!" exclaims the first cute. "That's what I would have voted for."
These cartoons pretty much make themselves. We set up the camera, push record, and let the cutes just go. Then after a little while of super adorable dialogue, something happens. In this episode, a big funny boy comes over and eats a few of the cutes.
Mr. Happy Puppet Head is watching the action with a thoughtfull expression. "I'm thinking I'm just going to start wearing diapers," he says to me.
"I'm just saying," he takes a swig from his hip flask. "That I'm sick of getting up in the middle of the night to piss. It sucks."
"That's true," I say. The big funny boy, played by a guy named Hector, approaches and begins eating the cutes happily. They don't know what to do, so they sit around quietly as he eats all of them.
"Why doesn't everyone wear them?" he asks. "They aren't expensive or anything. And convinient. I love convinience."
"So you'll do it, too?" He looks at me now.
"I don't think so," I say. Hector is now lying on the checkered sheet, curling up to take a nap.
"Why not?" He's staring at me now.
"I don't know," I reply. "It just sounds gross. I'd rather just get up and use the toilet."
"Really?" He takes another swig. "That's weird."
"Cut!" I call out as I turn off the camera. All the little cutes crawl out of Hector's mouth and look to me for criticism. "That was really good," I tell them. "Really good. But let's do it again, just for safety."