Monday, November 8

Arpit and Bloodbath the Unemployed Pirate Cartoon!

"Happy Birthday, Bloodbath!" yells Arpit. They are standing in front of their apartment complex. The sun in shining. The two best friends are hanging out being bored.

"Arg. 'Tis not me birthday today," says Bloodbath.

"Yeah, but's it's my birthday," says Arpit. He jumps up in the air and claps his hands. "That means we get to clap and yell and jump and sing. My dad says birthdays are the day everyone forgets why they hate us, just like we were dead when everyone cries because you were such a great friend even if on normal days when you are alive everyone doesn't like you so much and says you smell funny and push you down and put gross things on your face."

"Did yer grandmother have some sorta accident?" asks Bloodbath. "Or do ye think she was a straight up retard?"

"I think she drank bleach. That's what my dad says, my dad says Grandma drinks bleach and that's what makes her scream at me and lock me into dark places."

Bloodbath stares at the boy as he jumps up and down clapping his hands over his head.

"And one time, my dad says I shouldn't hate her because we can't hate handicapped people, like fat people in wheelchairs who can't say sentences and cry all the time. Like Grandma when she hits me with sticks." says Arpit.

"I don't like my Grandma," says Arpit.

They stand around looking idly at things that either pass by or stay where they are at all times. Like cars or rocks.

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