Monday, April 5

Monday night's are always so lonely. Especially when your best friend either skipped town or died and all you've got is a rotting severed head for companionship. And I don't have cable. I never missed it before, but sitting around with a partial corpse really makes you hate the situational comedies networks try to pass off as entertainment. I'd like to go out back and work on that hole I've been digging, but it's kind of cold, and holes are best dug in the nude. And I hate to think of Mr. Happy Severed Head all alone in here. He lives here now, but he still feels like kind of a guest.

Maybe I should get a Mrs. Happy Severed Head. I could have a little wedding, set up a little honeymoon. Take some pictures... have some cake. Maybe invite some people over.

I don't know any people. Maybe I could just get some severed hands and assorted other body parts and dress them up. Like cute little tuxedos and dresses and stuff.

This sounds like a lot of work.

Maybe I should just throw him away. He's starting to get pretty gross, and I don't think the kids like him too much. I couldn't be sure, but I think the audience was smaller today. I was blindfolded most of the show. we played hide and seek, and Mr. Happy Severed Head found a really good hiding place. He was in the corner.

He's also useless as a cameraman.

Maybe i should get ready for tommorow. Maybe I'll do a segment on Proofreading.

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