Saturday, April 17

Me and Mr. Happy Puppet Head are shooting an Educati-FUN video. It's about this kid who has no arms and one hell of a learning disability. He's pretty funny.

So we've just been following him around all day, showing the kids what happens if they don't listen to their parents and teachers. What happens is you lose your arms and get brain damage. Like little Hector, here.

So we went to the ice cream place and Hector got all messy and made some teenage girl vommit all over her sunday. Then we went to the park and watched as he tried to get up the slide, but kept falling over.

Now we're in his basement and Mr. Happy Puppet Head is asking him questions. Like "How does it feel to be completely out of place in any and all social environs?" and "How do you use the bathroom? What if no one's around to help you and you really have to go?" Little Hector tries to answer, but it's mostly mumbling and drool.

"Hey, where're my car keys?" asks Mr. Happy Pupet Head.

Hector laughs hysterically.

I ask him if he's seen Mr. Happy Puppet Head's car keys. He nods his head and shoves most of his foot in his mouth. I ask him where and he just laughs some more.

Mr. Happy Puppet Head gets really mad and lunges at the kid, knocking him off the bed. I quickly take the camera off the tripod and go handheld for the struggle on the floor. Our mustached puppet friend is biting Hector's fat stomach, and Hector is screaming.

I tell him maybe he should stop, and he jumps up and gets all in my face and yells at me. He says I'm not his best friend anymore and I should get a new roomate and co-host because he's not doing that stuff anymore. He spits a lot and drools all over his mustache.

Hector is crying. Mr. Happy Puppet Head yells at him to shut up and sulks in a corner. There is a baseball poster on the wall and he rips it down with his puppet teeth.

How do you go to the bathroom, Hector?


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