Saturday, April 3

Me and Mr. Happy Severed Head are at the park. It's for a segment called, FLY A KITE, DON'T KNOCK UP YOUR 13 YEAR-OLD GIRLFRIEND. So we're flying a kite. And it's a lot of fun.

I hold an ice cream cone in my left hand, the kite string in my right. I have a very pretty kite soaring in the sky above.

See kids, it isn't about "getting laid," or "fucking her brains out," it's about love. Flying kites is also like love, in that flying a kite doesn't make a girl pregnant and ruin both of your lives irreparibly. Both ways you get some exercise, but only one of those ways all but promises you a life of alcoholism ending in suicide.

Oh, and make sure you hold onto your kite. Not like Mr. Happy Severed Head over there. But he can't help it. Duct tape will only hold a kite string to a decomposing forhead for so long.

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