Thursday, August 26

An Educati-FUN Video!

title: "Crime. Crime is so Bad."

Me and Mr. Happy Puppet Head are standing at a stoplight. I have a knife concealed under my cape. It's a big kitchen knife.

"Wait, what are we doing?" asks Mr. Happy Puppet Head.

"Just follow my lead. And remember, it's for the children." Soon a fat middle-aged woman pulls up to the stoplight and there isn't anyone else around. I run around to her window and tap on it. I brandish my big ass knife and motion for her to get out of the car. She freaks out and gets out of the car.

"Please," she says. "I have to save my husband, he's about to fall off a cliff and into a lot of sharp spikes and I don't have much time!"

"I'm sorry," I say. "It's for the children. They have to learn the difference between right and wrong, and simply telling them not to steal cars at knifepoint isn't going to accomplish anything." I gently push her aside and unlock the passenger side door. Mr. Happy Puppet Head jumps in and we drive off.

We drive for a little while in silence. "So..." asks Mr. Happy Puppet Head. "Where are we going?"

"We're just going to drive until we can show the reppercussions of violent crime." I explain. "Like getting arrested or something."

"Oh, okay."

We drive a little more until we are carjacked by a gang of big fat men. The boss guy has a big machine gun and is eating onion rings. I plead for my life, and he spares us, but not after making me do a little dance in order to spare my feet from being riddled with lead. He laughs, and we are sent on our way. But he has left us in the "bad part" of town, and we are soon kidnapped by a notorious mob leader and sold into prositution.

Blowjobs may pay, but only a little. And in the long run, not-crime pays a lot more than crime. Like a good job that involves helping people, or being a lawyer. That pays lots more than carjacking cars, then being carjacked yourself, then being forced into prostitution. See? Now you know.

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