Thursday, May 27

Howie the little girl and her pet old man head are at it again. This time they've set a trap for leprechauns in their backyard. It's a complicated system of little pieces of metal they found and some strings. It all works on the assumptions that A)leprechauns exhist B)leprechauns will be wandering around Howie's backyard in May, and C)leprechauns don't usually look where they're walking.

Howie's older brother laughed at her and said leprechauns don't exhist and they usually do look where they're going. But Howie and her head set up a little leprechaun collection area made out of grass and sticks. The assumption behind that one is that leprechauns can't climb over little piles of sticks and run away.

So they wait in Howie's room looking out the window, waiting to catch a little magic Irish gnome or whathaveyou.

What are your plans once you catch a leprechaun, Howie?

"Well, we hope to catch at least two. One for me and one for Head."

What are you going to do with them once you catch them?

"You know, play with them. Have fun. Maybe go on a picnic."

That sounds great. But it takes a long time to catch leprechauns, and Howie and Head soon fall asleep. When they wake up, it is dark outside, the afternoon gone like porridge down a porridge hole. The two bestest friends in the whole world run outside to see what they caught.

They find their traps are all messed up and there aren't any leprechauns. What happened?

The bush groans. The one next to the white picket fence. Howie and Head walk over to inspect. It's Bermuda and Steve! The two-headed naked monster lies on it's back in the thick green bush. Bermuda groans again.

"What's wrong?" asks Howie the little girl.

"Hi, little girl," says Steve. Bermuda groans again, really loud this time. "We stepped on something really sharp and apparently it hurts pretty bad, or else Bermuda would quit crying. He's such a baby. And we can't seem to get out of this bush."

"Oh." Howie inspects the big purple monster foot pointing to the sky. It has a big piece of leprechaun trap sticking out from it. She easily plucks it out of the foot, and Bermuda gives a little scream.

"See?" Steve points at Bermuda "He's such a cry baby."

"I am not!" cries Bermuda. "If it'd gone into your foot, you'd cry louder than I did."

"No way, what about that one time we tripped and I jammed my finger on the door. You didn't hear me complain at all."

"Come on! Jamming your finger isn't anything like gettting a piece of metal stuck in your foot!"

"Whatever. Baby." They crawl out of the bush, and still arguing, foot still bleeding, they limp over to the fence and climb over it.

"Don't whatever me!"

"I can if I want to."

"At least I don't wet the bed!"

"Hey, it's your bladder, too!"

And the day is over, and Howie caught no leprechauns. "Maybe we should try to catch something else. If we had been trying to catch two-headed naked monsters, we would have been successfull, right Head?" Head nods the affirmative. "Tommorow we should try to set a trap for the mailman. Maybe something with sharp pencils... and electricity."

And with these exciting thoughts buzzing through their heads, off they go to take a bath and go to bed.

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