Wednesday, March 31

I haven't seen Mr. Happy Puppet Head in almost a week. No phone call or anything. We had that one boring show where we took naps and smoked cigarettes, and I haven't seen him since. Maybe he's dead. I've been thinking about getting a new co-host.

Our options:

Bermuda and Steve. a two-headed monster, kind of like on Sesame Street, only they're gay and naked. enormous genitals. no shame.

Loli. a little eight-year old girl with no arms. she's so cute. cute in that way she's so stupid she'll believe anything and always asks the dumbest questions. and then she believes whatever shit i tell her. and she eats anything and everything, like a goat. so that's a fun game.

Megan. she's in a metal band and has tatoos and rides a motorcycle. she gets in a lot of fights. she has a scar on her forhead, but she's still hot. I haven't actually talked to her yet, but she goes to the same bar I do, and I listen in on her conversations. she sounds like she'd be a great co-host. and maybe she'd go out with me.

So I've got some thinking to do. Because even if Mr. Happy Puppet Head does come back, maybe it's time he moves on. I don't know. We'll see.

Okay, now we cut away to a Educati-Fun Video where we learn all about Lucy and Timmy, two kids who are kidnapped by some bums and force-fed gravel, all because they didn't listen to their parents about doing their homework.

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