Friday, March 19

the ever popular PERFORMANCE ART!

I call the names of all the children in the audience to come down on stage. As they approach me I give them a live shrimp wrapped in a piece of paper. on the paper is written a fortune.

all the fortunes are the same. they all say "happy birthday! hope the operation is a success!" and there is a drawing of a bloody surgical knife.

As all the children look up at me clearly confused, I tell them to never eat the shrimp they hold in their hands, but to cherish it always, even after it's rotten and diseased from mold, to love it more than their own parents. seafood will never leave you, no matter how badly the operation goes.

we stand in awkward silence for a long time. I hum the I Dream of Jeannie song.

Cut to an Educati-Fun Video of me spinning a group of handicapped children on the meri-go-round until they are sick and screaming and throwing up.

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