Thursday, January 15

i'm totally addicted to the very thought that someone out there, anywhere in the world can be reading the stupid things i write down. it's like subtle orgasms.

i hope that one day i never wake up and realize i only dreamt i had this awesome brother. that i only imagined one for that one dream, and i'm actually an only child. that's a sad, sad thought. that'd be way worse than when i wake up and realize that the really cool girl i had a crush on just a moment ago doesn't exhist.

here's what i think and wholeheartedly believe. never trust anyone that prefers creamy peanut butter over the crunchy kind. the same goes for people who like black liccorice. there just isn't any reason for people to like those things.

on the marta train to school i use the windows as mirrors so i can look at people undetected. i've seen a man hold his toungue in the most innocently disgusting way one can hold a toungue while reading a book. it was all curled up against his upper lip, almost touching his nose. what kind of way is that to express intrest in good reading? i once saw what colonel sanders would look like if he worked out and had biker tattoos up and down his arms. one woman had this crazy far-off sort of look, and she kept getting up and moving to the seat next to hers, then back again. and she wore an orange turban and was white and kind of pretty except she was in her late thirties/early forties. and she mumbled nervously to herself constantly. sometimes as if she were talking to someone next to her. when the train stopped at the end of the line she didn't show any signs of knowing she had to get off. i asked her if she were alright and knew that this was the final stop. she asked me how to get to Grady Memorial Hospital. I told her to go all the way back south and get off at Five Points. she nodded her head, but i knew she didn't really listen. as i walked to my car i regretted not giving offering her a ride back downtown. just like that one time the bum was sitting outside the station in the pouring rain and i wanted to throw my umbrella out the window for him to have, but i didn't. i don't use umbrellas, so why didn't i give him the one i have?

i'm so happy about the possibility that someone else will be reading this.

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