Monday, October 11

THE FINAL EPISODE (of this storyline)! check it out.

So me and Handsome Actor made it to the party complex. We found the door wide open, and something we hadn't realized before, but now that awful jazz music had been turned off or broke or something. But it was silent. Completely.

Standing in the middle of the big center plaza, we see that most of all the alchohol in North America has been drunk, bottles of liqour and beer everywhere, and the big bonfire has long since burned out to nothing.

"Mr. Happy Puppet Head?" I call. No answer but my echo.

"Wait here," Handsome Actor tells me. "I'm going to run and see what's in that door over there." He opens it and it's a dark stairwell.

"Do you think it's a good idea to split up?" I ask. But he's already gone down the stairwell. I don't think it's a good idea to split up. That's what happens in horror movies, only the person being killed can usually run away and isn't all tied up like me. Hm.

So I wait and wait for a long time. I try sitting down, but I fall and get another mouthfull of dirt. I'm kind of getting used to that by now.

It seems like hours that I'm lying there on the ground. Finally I hear something. Laughing. Approaching me from another door on the other side of the plaza. Suddenly the three monsters burst out of the door with Mr. Happy Puppet Head following behind. He stares at the floor as they laugh and yell about something I don't understand.

"Mr. Happy Puppet Head!" I yell. "Mr. Happy Puppet Head, hey! Over here!" He looks up and kind of smiles. His eyes are all bloodshot and his fur is all matted and gross.

"Uh oh," says Marty the monster with the tentacles. "Look what we got here. Stupid cape guy. You look really good with dirt on your face and tied up, huh guys?" The other two monsters agreee.

(in case you forgot what the monsters look like)

All of a sudden there's lots of yelling and feet running towards us. The door where Handsome Actor went down flies open and all the celebrities who had been trapped in the basement come running out, brandishing big sticks and broken bottles. They all yell out terrifying war whoops and look really mad. They run straight for the three monsters and begin a big battle. The celbrities are fighting for their lives and freedom, so they're a force to be reckoned with, but the monsters are magic violin monsters and they flip around and beat up celebrities like nothing.

And in the middle of all the fighting and yelling I lie in the dirt and can't even stand up. Mr. Happy Puppet Head seems to be in a daze and hasn 't seemed to notice the battle.

"Hey Midnight." says Mr. Happy Puppet Head. "What's up?"

"You know... stuff." A child-actor lands on my leg, but it doesn't hurt since he's so small. He picks up a jagged piece of wood and runs off.

"Oh. That's good."

"Hey Mr. Happy Puppet Head?" I ask.


"Do you want to go back home with me and work on our tv show some more? I've got some ideas for new Educati-FUN videos. And other cartoons."

"I don't know..." he turns back to stare at the ground. "We're kind of in the middle of this party." The battle is definitely going in favor of the monsters. The celbrities have all either been badly wounded, tied up, or torn to little famous pieces by those horrible magic party monsters. The only reason they haven't given up yet is because Handsome Actor keeps rallying them, seemingly never running out of energy or ways to escape their deadly attacks.

"Come on," I say. "This party's done. What do you say? I'll pay for bus fare."

"I got a helicopter now."

"Oh. We can tkae that then if you want. I've never been in a helicopter."

"You guys can't leave now," says Marty with the tentacles. "Yeah," says the one with the claw face. "We still have more booze." All the celebrities have been vanquished. Even Handsome is tied up in the corner. It looks like he's crying silently, his tears collecting in a beautiful puddle in the dirt.

"They're right." Says Mr. Happy Puppet Head. "And drugs. We said we weren't gonna stop partying until all the booze and drugs in North America had been consumed by us. Sorry."

"Hey Mr. Happy Puppet Head," a though crosses my mind. "Do you still have that magic violin?"

"Yeah, how'd you know about that?" he takes it out from one of his secret puppet head pockets and waves it around a little.

"You know," I say. "I've been researching it for years now. I think i'm going to write a book about it or something."

"Oh. I didn't know that was this magic violin. That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. Can I see it?"

"Sure." He lays it down on my chest.

"Um," says Marty.

I roll over and the violin falls onto the dirt. I then smash it with the back of my head. I have to do it several times before it feels really smashed good. I turn over to examine it, and see that it now has a big Midnight Mailman head-sized hole in the center of it.

And my ropes fall off and I can move. It feels great. Oh boy. I stand up and flex my arms. I see many of the celebrities stand up, too.

"God dammit!" mutters Marty. "Shit..." says the four legged bird monster. "Well, I guess that's it." says Marty. "Party's over. Good job, dude. Later Puppet Head." And they walk away.

And the party is over. The party complex disappears with a nice shimmery visual effect, and all that's left is me, Mr. Happy Puppet Head, and a lot of bleeding celebrities in the middle of the desert.

Everything's going to be all right.

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