I eat vanilla milk shakes with attitude. Sip sip sip. Yeah. With one of those really long straws, solid red, none of that white and red striped business. No way.
People look at me and think, "That guy is so awesome. I wish I could be half as way cool as he is in his little finger."
Sip sip sip. I wink at the girl behind the cash register. She ignores me and goes back to punching the little keys when the fat woman and her child order their hamburgers. Sip sip. She's just scared to reply to the wink.
Or maybe it's the goggles and the little French mustache I draw on. Or the cape and the rubber boots or the bowtie. These things seem to intimidated girls and make it hard to see how totally awesome I am as I drink my vanilla milkshake. Girls can be funny sometimes. And boys, too, the way they throw hard things at me and call me all sorts of names.
I eat my vanilla milk shakes with attitude.