Sunday, September 12

There are two cups of fluids sitting in your friend's backyard.

Your friend says, "Hey, drink one of those cups of fluid."

"Why?" you ask. "What's in them?"

"Well," your friend explains. "One of them is full of magic lotion that will turn your skin so silky smoothe you will lose all your friction. No more friction."

"And the other?"

"The other is fruit juice that expired three years ago. Tastes like shit."

"I don't want to drink either of them," you say. But your friend just looks at you for a long time real serious-like. You realize that you will have to drink one of the cups of liquid. Your love of friction versus your hate of foul tasting beverages. "What does the magic lotion taste like?" you ask.

"Like the sweetest laughter of a baby that will one day grow up to be the Catholic patron saint of love."


So make up your mind, fattie. Your favorite cartoons come on in a few minutes and we don't have all day.

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