Monday, May 16

We wait behind the curtains for the show to start. Our intro theme song is playing while the kids find their seats. "Whoa, wait," says Mr. Happy Puppet Head. "What's different?"

"I'm trying something new." I tell him.

"You don't have arms. Or legs. You're just floating around."

"Do you like it?"

"I don't know..."

"I think it's a fun look. Simple, different."

"Not that different," he squints at me. "And I don't like it. Too... I don't know. Too floaty."

"But that's all you are. You're just a floating head."

"Yeah, maybe that's all the flotation we need."

"You never like it when I change anything. You still wish I were in color."

"So? I liked the green sweater."

"I'm not saying I'm sticking with the no arms no legs thing. I'm just trying it today."

"Sure. Do whatever," he turns around to face the curtains. "What about Field Day?"

"What about it?" I ask.

"Are we still going?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know. I just really want to go," he says. "Can you bring your arms and stuff?"

I promise him I will.

The theme song ends and the curtains rise. The kids clap and laugh at all the jokes we make, but I can feel them staring at where my limbs usually are. I really do like this look, though. I'll proably stick with it. We'll see tommorow. I don't know. I left them in my dressing room in case I get too self-consious. But it'll be weird if I put them on during a commercial break. Now I've got to do the whole show this way. I wish we had one of those fashion consultants. Professional opinions are nice to have around.

The show goes along all right.. Not too many flubbled lines or forgotten punchlines. I can't wait to get to my dressing room to put my arms and legs back on.

Sitting on my makeup table where I left my extremities is a note. "Your arms and legs have been enlisted in a war against hypocrisy and injustice. They will aid in bringing down the enemy that is Convinience Store. We thank you for your contribution to the cause, and if we are successfull, you will recieve a medal in the mail. Please wait 6 - 8 weeks for completion of Project Destory Convinience Store. Sincerely, B & S"

Bermuda and Steve. That two-headed naked monster is so annoying. And they left some clothes on my floor. Looks like a janitor's disguise and a couple of fake beards.

Field Day is tommorow. How am I going to win at Egg Toss without arms or legs? Mr. Happy Puppet Head is going to be pissed.

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