Monday, March 28

Part FOUR of the Fairy Infestation story
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When we pass through the Magic Fairy Portal, Bermuda and Steve are working furiously at the desk. Fairy Land is very small, with barely enough room for anything.

"What are you doing here? This is our office." says Bermuda.

"We have fairies in our basement."

"Hey guys, what's up?" asks Mr. Happy Puppet Head.

"Not much..." says Bermuda. "Just proving Algebra wrong!"

"Cool," says Mr. Happy Puppet Head as he floats off to explore the Blue Oblivion surrounding Fairy Land.

"Bermuda. Steve," I say when I finally get my footing. "We need to talk. All the Fairies you expelled from Fairy Land are now living in my basement and I'm going to have to do laundry eventually, and my high school yearbooks are down there, too."

"Tell him come back later," says steve.

"Come back later!" says Bermuda. "We're proving algebra wrong! What will the schools do? Nothing! There's nothing they can do!"

Mr. Happy Puppet Head bobbles up from the opposite direction he left in. "Huh..." He says. "Whoa, I gotta get back. My show's about to be on."

He's right. His show is about to be on. To expidite things I turn Steve's pen into a gum drop with Fairy Power.

Both Bermuda and Steve look at their once-pen in shock. Steve looks up at me with eyes full of anger. He slowly puts the gumdrop into his mouth and swallows it whole. "I'm sorry, sir," he says. "I'm going to have to ask you to come back later." To make sure I understand, he shoves his desk towards me, knocking me off Fairy Land.

I fall through the Blue Nothing for a moment before I pass Fairy Land. I see Steve take out another pen from a drawer before continuing to fall through the Blue.

I pass Fairy Land again.

And again.

And again.

And again. Falling isn't so bad when you don't really go anywhere.

Below me I see Fairy Land approaching quickly. Mr. Happy Puppet Head pushes on the tiny piece of Land in my direction, just enough for me to catch hold and pull myself up. "Quit fucking around," he tells me. "I have to get back right now or I'll miss it. I can't miss it."

"I'm trying," i tell him. "I just gotta--"

"Just open the Magic Portal, come on."

"I-- I just," I watch as Bermuda and Steve scribble away, now and then gesturing triumphantly before going back to their sheets of paper. "We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't left your dollhouse and toy ponies out for the Fairies to find!"

"Hey! what-- I don't, dude..." he bobbles up and whispers in my ear, "Not in front of the guys. Come on."

"Okay, now I'm so serious," says Steve as they stand up from their chair, toppling it over backwards. "You're disturbing us in our private office." They push the desk over the edge, just as the chair finishes its loop and falls past us with a whoosh. "So leave."

"You leave," I tell them.

"No. You." Steve says.

"I will. Just after you." The desk falls past to my left. A moment later the chair whooshes past behind the large, nude, blue, two-headed monster in front of me.

So now what we've got is a stand-off.

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