Sunday, July 17
"Um, could you, um. You put this box on me," Muscle tells Manager Leonard.
"Yeah I did,' says Manager Leonard. "You're lucky I didn't put two. Where's my Tuna? Where's Tiny?" They call him Tiny because he isn't. It's a joke. He's the largest Tuna in the world.
"I thought he'd be right back, he said he would. I can, you don't have to put this box on me." Muscle can't lift the box off of him no matter how hard he tries. His name wasn't supposed to be ironic or a joke or anything--his parents thought he would have lots of muscles seeing as they were both at one time the most famous Strong People Who Lift Things in the world.
"That box is full of promotional handouts," explains Manager Leonard. "What do I do with them now that Tiny's gone? Huh? Nothing. I might as well put them on your back. Right?"
"I don't, really that's not, I mean, maybe," says Muscle. "If there wasn't this box on my back, I mean, maybe I could go and find Tiny. I just need to, there was a place I left him and he should have come right back."
"Who's going to want a Tiny's Fish Palace and Extravaganza without a Tiny? Nobody. They come to eat the fried fish while a giant Tuna--the biggest in the world--swims around under the glass floor." Manager Leonard watches Muscle wiggle painfully under the big box of pamphlets. "I'm going to put another box on you. Hold on." Leonard goes back into his restaurant.
While Muscle is waiting to have another box put on him, Tiny comes back.
"Hey, buddy," says Tiny, slithering his the largest Tuna body accross the sidewalk. "Sorry that took so long. But check this out." Tiny rolls onto his back to show off the bad-ass tatoo on his fishbelly. "It hurts like shit, though." The tatoo depicts the Moon on fire with a snake wrapped threateningly around it.
"Nice," says Muscle. "That's awesome."
Manager Leonard walks back out into the parking lot. He is carrying a large box. "Where you been, Tiny?" Manager Leonard carefully places the other box on top of the other box on top of Muscle. "Why didn't you call? I been worried."
"Check it out," the enormous Tuna fish rolls over so Manager Leonard can see his rad tat.
"That's the most retarded thing I've ever seen," Manager Leonard says, turning himself back to the restaurant. "Come on. You're late for working."
"Man, I don't want to work today," says Tiny. "I just want to get stoned and watch the waves."
"I just want boxes off of me," says Muscle.
"Yeah, that looks like it sucks."
"It does. A lot."
"Look, Jimmy, the largest Tuna in the world!" The mother points her finger to indicate the largest tuna in the world swimming lazily beneath their feet. "If this clear plastic floor weren't here between us, that Tuna would tear us into tiny Happy Family pieces."
"Oh, no!" cries her adorable child.
Tiny yawns. Muslce falls asleep and dreams about ice cream. Manager Leonard cheats a customer out of a nickle and smiles broadly when he turns his back.