Monday, November 6

“We’re going to renovate the kitchen!” Yells the roach. Her eyes dart around the room, imagining the potentials and possibilities. “It’s going to be so much more than perfect!” She skitters around in a happy circle.

“I like how it is now,” says Mallory, the slug. “I know where everything is.”

“I think the refrigerator should go over in that corner,” says Lemmy, the human boy.

So they all push the large appliance to the specified corner.

“No… that isn’t it at all.” Says roach. “No no no no no no no no.”

“I’m far too delusional to understand what’s going on,” says the Cute with a smile. “I’m completely useless.”

“Let’s put it on top of the stove, then there’ll be more space,” says Roach.

“Room for what? I’m not sure about how much I like open space.”

“I like the on-top-of-the-stove idea,” says Lemmy. “I like that idea lot.”

“My dementia is far too exaggerated for me to be expected to help in any way at all,” explains the Cute. “I simply can’t get over my phobias, inconsistencies, hallucinations, nightmares, or eating disorders.”

“A complicated system of pullies and levers,” explains Roach. “Easy.”

Roach goes into a humorous and super-catchy song and dance number about rigging up all the pullies and levers. You clap along with a big smile on your face, charmed out your pants.

“Wait,” Lemmy points at the refigerator which is now sitting upside-down on top of the stove. “How did that happen? You didn’t actually do anything ‘cept sing.”

“The power of song, I guess.” Roach skitters in a little circle. “I have powerful songs.”

“I don’t like musical numbers,” explains Mallory. “When I get excited, my slime glands act up and I kind of like, squirt a little. Hold on… one’s coming… hold on…”

Everyone waits for a slime squirt, but nothing happens.

“So I, for one, really enjoy an upside-down refrigerator.” Roach climbs up the surface of the appliance and back down, then back up again.

Mallory squirts a small glob of slime into the air. “See? Did you see? That’s what exciting, hand-clapping musical numbers do to me. How am I supposed to feel attractive when I’m sliming all over the place?”

“I want pizza,” says Lemmy. “Let’s make a pizza.”

“No thanks,” Mallory squirts again. “I don’t eat those.”

“I’ll eat thirteen,” says the Cute as she hides behind the stove. “I’ll eat thirteen.”

Lemmy and the Roach make a pizza, but it is upside-down and no matter how many times they flip it over, it remains inverted.

And their juice spills all over the table with no way to stop it from doing so.


fan-o-mail said...

How did so many unlikely beings come to be aquainted? I'm intrigued. Do sparkling clean kitchens have roaches and slugs? I like the kids feet and that the Roach has no name, just the roach.

christa t said...

I think I know who this is.