Thursday, January 20
Bloodbath the unemployed pirate captain and his best friend, suburban teenager Arpit, are stuck in traffic. It is almost noon, but it is completely dark out except for the moon and the street-lamps. It's the second day in a row the sun hasn't come up.
They are driving an old tan car. While the two friends were hanging out in the parking lot, a man pulled up real quick to pick something up from his apartment, leaving his car unlocked and turned on. Arpit and Bloodbath took it. Arpit wanted to go to Limpy Blimpy's Happy Fun Time Place, his favorite theme park.
Their new car sitting in dead-still traffic, Arpit is singing as loud as he can.
"Limpy Blimpy, you are so much fun!
We like to laugh and sing and dance
As you hurt everyone, oh!"
He looks over at Bloodbath in the passenger seat. "Hey Bloodbath, aren't you so excited about Limpy Blimpy's Happy Fun Time Place? Huh? I sure am!"
Someone behind them honks their car horn. "Huh, Bloodbath? Aren't you excited? I sure am!"
"I just don't get that show," Bloodbath says. "He just walks around hurting everyone. There be no plot or story or anything..."
"My dad says Plots and Morals are for suckers. Remember that one episode where that one fish kid of laughs at Blimpy's way of walking, so Blimpy breaks into his house and puts broken glass in his cereal? And the fish eats it and thinks it tastes all good, but then starts vomiting blood?"
Bloodbath nods his head, looking at the immobile cars surrounding them.
"Yeah, that was awesome. Just like Limpy Blimpy's Happy Fun Time Place is going to be!" and he starts singing again.
"Oh... He's Limpy, he's Blimpy, he has to use a cane!
He's Limpy, he's Blimpy, he loves to cause you pain!
So never get in his way,
for you will so dearly pay,
for all of your misdeeds,
so please shut your mouth please,
and let's all look away...
for here comes Limpy Blimpy! Yay!" Arpit claps his hands happily. Bloodbath rubs his head as he rolls down the window.
Arpit sings the song again.
And some more.
Bloodbath swings open the passenger side door and steps out into the sea of cars, the air full with the low hum of countless car engines patiently idling. No one's moved in over an hour.
"Hey," yells Arpit. "Hey, where you going Bloodbath?"
Bloodbath notices that there isn't a single car passing on the other side of the highway going South. He stands on his toes trying to see the cause of the traffic, but the road curves and he can't see around it.
"Hey," yells Arpit. "Where you going?" Bloodbath doesn't answer as he walks quickly going North, walking carefully between the cars so as not to scratch them with his swords. Arpit jumps out of the car and runs after his pirate friend. "Wait up!"
(to continue another day)