HELP NAME THE NEW CARTOON!
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We here at the Midnight Mailman Show (for learning and fun) are developing a new cartoon series to air on this very program.

the pitch: it's about an unemployed pirate captain living in a suburban apartment complex, and his best friend, the fifteen-year old half-retarted kid who lives next door.

so the pirate's name is Bloodbath, we're pretty sure about that, right Mr. Happy Puppet Head? yeah. his name's set. but it's the kid we're having the trouble with.

so here are our options so far:

Arpit and Bloodbath

Kevin and Bloodbath

Carlos and Bloodbath

let me know what you kids think. we're just trying to make the best possible cartoons for our audience. this is all for you. for serious.

well, i'm excited...

so very.

about everything from now on.


yeee-haw!

Why don't ghosts do friendly-strange things istead of creepy-strange things? like make breakfast or perform otherworldly sexual favors? or maybe they do, only you don't hear about that stuff because no one complains.

"I'm not a hermaphrodite, but this is a good book."

~julia-friend

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when i was a kid we lived in Los Angeles, and occasionally my parents would take me to Universal Studios Hollywood. somewher in there they had a replica of Kit, the Nightrider car, and if you stood in a line, they'd let you sit in the car for a minute or so and you could ask Kit questions and he'd answer you.

HE'D ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. my mind was blown.

but i never did get to visit with Kit. i don't know why, but i think i might have been kind of nervous about the whole thing, like meeting a celebrity. what would i ask? it had to be good, because there wasn't much time.

wow, even now i have no idea what i'd ask him. so many questions...

I don't want anything right now except Springtime. what a great season that one is.

Once I get really rich I'm going to take all my friends out for fancy haircuts and glamor photos. Then we'll get drunk from liquor and ride the quarter rides under the escalator at the mall. When police and angry mothers tell us to stop, we'll throw wadded ten dollar bills at them. What can they do against that? Nothing.

The maraca has to be the most underrated instrument in the history of the world.

Mr. Happy Puppet Head, please pass out the complimentary marracas to the audience members. We're going to have an all marraca drum circle.

Yes. And... go.

Me: Hey, Krista?
Krista: Yeah?
Me: There's an oppossum.
Krista: Really!?
Me: No, because the joke is that there ISN'T an oppossum!
Krista: Really? (she laughs real hard) That's great!

the best part is that krista was the one who made that joke up the night before.